Oh. My.

I know not all pop music is suppose to comment on the human condition. Some of it is meant purely for entertainment (like anything written by Prince). I'm not asking for artists to use the King James Bible for song lyrics, but when I found this song the other day, my jaw dropped. This delicate sonnet is from the Black Eyed Peas, a hip/hop group out of LA.

My love (love), my love, my love, my love (love)
You love my lady lumps (love),
My hump, my hump, my hump (love),
My humps they got you

My goodness. And it goes on and on like this. Did they have no other lyrics? I mean, just what greater good would a song like this serve? Can you imagine a member of this group, say Fergie, going to her Grandma's house?

Fergie: "Wassup, Grandma!"
Grandma: "Why hello, my pet, how are you today?"
Fergie: "Just great! I wrote a new song."
Grandma: "Oh you did? Well aren't you the most talented young lady! Tell me sweetie, what is your song about? Do you sing of the magnificence of the world around us?"
Fergie:"Uh...no."
Grandma: "Do you sing of the glorious wonder of true love?"
Fergie: "Nuh uh."
Grandma: "Do you sing of the frailty of human nature?"
Fergie: "Naaah"
Grandma: "To bring awareness to the suffering of others?"
Fergie: "Nope"
Grandma: "Well, poppet, tell your grandma just what you're singing about?"
Fergie: "My hump."
Grandma: "I beg your pardon?"
Fergie: "My hump."
Grandma: "Say again sweetie? Grandma's hearing is not what it used to be."
Fergie: "My hump, Grandma. And my lady lumps."
Grandma: "Oh dear..."
Fergie: "And about how men will buy me with things that smack of materialism so I will feign a relationship with them which in truth, only feeds their superficial physical needs. Temporarily."
Grandma: "I see....Ooo! Is that your Grandfather calling me? I'm sorry my tart..um dear, I really must go now."

Yes sir folks, the world's goin' to heck in a Birkin handbag.