A BILL
THE CAR ALARM RELIEF ACT
THE CAR ALARM RELIEF ACT
Purpose: To encourage people with hoopty cars to be considerate of others.
BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF RHODE ISLAND:
Section 1: WHEREAS; if your car alarm has been making that exceedingly irritating noise for more than 5 minutes, AND you are nowhere within ear-shot of your car, WHICH means that it can't be that important to you anyway, I have the right to shoot your car.
Section 2: WHEREAS; if your car alarm goes off, AND if your car is more than 5 years old, AND is made by Pontiac or GMC, I have the right to shoot your car and slap you in the face when you DO show up for having a car alarm on a car that no one wants to steal in the first place.
Section 3: WHEREAS; if your car alarm goes off after 11:00 pm, I have the right to shoot your car immediately, AND slap you silly when you show up for waking me up with your @#$% car alarm.
I would have posted this yesterday (April 1) but I didn't want anyone to think I was joking.
4 comments:
I guess I should watch out.. we have a Pontiac Montanna that has an alarm system....
I guess I should duck...!!!!!
We had this neighbor who left for work at 11:14 every night. To our ears it seemed that he just left the keys in the HOUSE and hot-wired the car every night. Oh, the beautiful sounds of Prov. . . .
So are you saying my minivan doesn't need a car alarm as no one would want to steal it??? what if it came with one? should I disable the thing?
have you been being tormented by car alarms going off at ungodly hours in your neighborhood lately????
SOOOO FUNNY! I've had a couple of those around!
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