This has been something I've been thinking about recently. Whenever us moms see a particularly thin mom (that is, someone thinner than us) we have a tendency to just go nuts. However well behaved and well spoken we were before, amongst ourselves we unleash a torrent of "Oh my gosh, that's so not fair! Do you see how skinny she is! She's had three kids and she looks like a model! That's just not right!" etc., etc. and so on and so forth. And sometimes we say to the thin moms themselves "You're so skinny! Look at you!"
Why do we do this? Its not like these gals cut in line ahead of us at the metabolism counter. Did they mess with our DNA in a lab somewhere? Have they done anything to us personally to make us bigger than they? I've come to the conclusion that I've merely been acting out of jealousy and that's just stupid. Besides which, we ladies put up with enough image issues from our culture, we don't need to pile it on each other. As the mom of five kids, I've gotten a lot of comments myself (Are they all yours? Don't you know what causes that? You must have you hands full!) and I wonder why people say these things. The comments are not really critical of me but they're not particularly helpful or edifying either. I can imagine its the same for the thin moms. How does it help her that I voice my jealousy to her or even worse, behind her back?
So, to any mom I've might have said this about or to, I now humbly apologise and will endeavor not to do this again. The rest of you can help me be accountable.
2 comments:
Is it really jealousy? or enviousness? (is that even a word?) how 'bout being envious? Yeah, I understand where you are coming from & it probably isn't right, but I don't think it's fair either that their metabolism is still working & mine came to a screeching halt at say 25.! My husband still says I'm beautiful, & I suppose that should be enough for me. AND more importantly how much does it really matter to me? i.e am I willing to do something about it to change my own body image. Which I would say is a semi-yes. I personally have been trying to have a bit more self control in the eating department & have started walking again on the treadmill. (only 3 days at this point, so hopefully I can keep it up.)
It still doesn't seem fair though!!!
And as Forrest Gump once said "Mama always said life isn't fair!"
(can I go throw my tempertantrum now?) :)
Hey Dawn! Luckily? I'll never be one of those woman that you're jealous of! LOL I've held onto quite a bit of chub over the years.
You do make a good point though--its certainly not the skinny ladies' fault that I'm overweight. I just don't like standing next to them!
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