GO RVing!

Well, if there is a cult for people who like to RV, sign me up! I just got back from a four day trip and I am hooked! Yes folks, you heard right! I spent four days in a large tin can with five kids under that age of 10 and I liked it! And it had nothing to do with winning the big bag of 15 candy bars! Could I use any more exclamation marks? I don't know! Let's find out!

We rented a 28 foot class C RV (that's the kind that looks like the off spring of a Ford van that mated with a Winnebago). It had a small kitchen, a bathroom with a shower and a bedroom in the back. We rented the rig from a lovely place in East Providence called E-Zee Rentals (clever name, eh?). After packing the rig up with provisions, we headed out to New Hampshire, North Woodstock to be exact, in the more than picturesque White Mountains. Between getting a bit lost in Manchester, stopping for lunch and taking our sweet time in the new ride, it took us about six hours. We arrived at the wonderful Woodstock KOA campground (co-ah or kay-oh-aye, take your pick, either way they were very helpful) late afternoon, hooked up the utilities in about 15 minutes and voila! Camping without the hassles!

Apparently we were not the only ones with this brilliant idea because the camp ground filled up fast, but despite all the campers, it didn't feel like the beer line at a Red Sox game. The camp ground had a play ground, a pool, a miniature golf course (putt-putt for all of you west of New York) and a pond to fish in. And let me tell you about the activities! One evening the girls went with Dad to a s'mores roast. The next day, they played kickball with a group. We took a hay ride, drown some worms in the pond and went to an ice cream social. But the highlight of the trip was candy bar bingo. In the last round, the "cover-all" in Bingo lexicon, Hannah, who only minutes before came back to the table after being punished for whining about the game, won the grand prize of candy, 15+ bars! The only down side of the trip was when I was playing a game with Justin in which I thought for sure I was losing (no comments from y'all!). Seeing as how I was so behind in points, I made the bet that who ever wins would have to dump the waste tanks. Wouldn't you know God has a sense of humor and I won by 2 points! Moral of the story here kids-DON'T GAMBLE! IT STINKS!

All this fun despite that fact that my first experience with an RV (when I was a kid) included a very stinky bathroom and a brother that threw up on me, so I wasn't expecting a whole lot. However, not only did we have fun camping, but on the way back we found a yard sale and a buy one get one free fireworks store. With Dwight Yoakum on the iPod and we were havin' a good ol' time!

"But it's not really camping!" you say. "So what?" I say. We had a camp fire, we ate s'mores, we saw lots of trees, and we came back smelling smoky. But unlike "traditional" tent camping, we all slept well, didn't have to shake the dirt out of every thing we brought with us, could escape the bugs, kept the food cold, didn't have to put up a tent, could play a game at night with the girls in the cool, well lit comfort of the back bedroom, and had more than enough room to pack all the stuff we needed. I do have to agree though that having a satelite dish TV hook up is a little over the top. Some of the other rigs I saw were larger than my house. At that point, you're not camping, you're relocating.

So, I will now be accepting donations for the Dawn Kerr RV Fund. Contributions are not tax deductible but those who donate will receive a postcard from the next KOA site! For the rest of you-GO RVing!!!

So Much to Chuckle About

1. I swear it's not my fault! I was born this way!!
This is from Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus ("This book changed my life!!"-Dari Mullins)

Researchers at Queens' University in Belfast, Northern Ireland, discovered that girl babies move their mouths more than boy babies even before birth. Ultrasounds performed on pregnant women showed that twenty weeks into gestation, girls made about 30 percent more mouth movements per hour than boys.

Chatter on ladies! It's your birthright!


2. Coke Plus
Yes folks, believe it or not Coca Cola has come out with a diet soda with vitamins and minerals. Healthy junk food! No, honest! Really! Somethin' yer mamma would be proud of! I looked at the ingredients list (yes, I know, dumb idea) and could hardly pronounce a word in the list. But hey! What do I care? To heck with the grilled chicken salad with a glass of lemon water! Pass me a Coke Plus!

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day Ladies!

It's that joyous time of year again where we can sit back and say "I ain't cooking tonight!"

My darling babies, without whom I would not qualify to celebrate this day, ask me every year what I want for Mother's Day. Every year I tell them "peace and quiet" and every year they roll their eyes and mutter something about me being difficult to shop for. So I thought I'd help them out by making a list on my blog (which I haven't visited for so long that I actually found cobwebs when I tried to log in).

1. A Left-Over-Nator
This device will remove all food substances from my refrigerator that have become inedible, cheerfully wash out the funky storage containers and gently inform me in the morning that what I was planning on serving tonight is no longer available. The optional "Alternative-Meal-O-Matic" would be appreciated.

2. A caramel latte delivered to my door every day at 1:30 during quiet time (iced during the summer, please)

3. NO MORE SILLY ARTICLES ABOUT HOW MUCH MOMS ARE WORTH IN THE JOB MARKET
I'm getting a little tired of these brain trusts informing me that I am worth $130,000. What as I suppose to do with that information? Bean my husband over the head with it? If he doesn't respect me now, some pithy little article like this won't open him up to a new reality. To find our self worth in a monetary amount is to miss why we do what we do in the first place.

4. A Universal Toddler Translator
Now the bible tells me I'm not suppose to frustrate my kids but when I need to ask my Farsi speaking two year old to tell me again what it is he's point to, I'm not sure I can abide by that rule.

5. A Sock Coordinator
I want someone to find the missing mate for each sock in the large box sitting in my hallway. This person will also be in charge of sewing on missing buttons, patching knees in pants, alerting me prior to 9:00 pm that the girls have run out of clean underwear, and keep my boys from going out in flood pants.

6. A self cleaning high chair with shower attachment
Anyone who's fed a baby spaghetti will understand what I mean.

7. Some sort of pharmaceutical (wow, I spelled that correctly!) that will cure my 1 year old of his intense desire to play with dangerous items.
He has $300.00 worth of baby toys tested to be educational and more fun than a weekend in Vegas yet he always manages to find the one sharp pencil on left on the floor and run through the house with it.

8. A 5 minute exercise/dental health plan
I want to be able to get all the benefits of exercising regularly (including weight training) and floss and brush and rinse and flouride my teeth six times a day all in five minutes. That way I can devote the saved time to watching Russian traffic videos on Youtube.

Well, that's my list for now. It's not too much to ask for, is it?