I just got back from a road trip to North Carolina. I was planning to write about that but then I saw this catalog and I just couldn't let the day go by without sharing what I found.
Oriental Trading Company is a lovely company in Nebraska that imports millions of dollars in disposable plastic doo-dads and gee-gaws begging the question, "Where's an environmentalist when you need one?!?" We recently got their Halloween catalog which I decided to read during lunch. Up until now I had been feeling that there was a certain something lacking in my life. Purpose? A sense of direction? Nay, its was item #DQ-K1248, the Hose Nose. This charming little item is a plastic nose filled with sour-apple flavored candy slime which you can suck out. Mmmm....candy slime....who needs Haagen Dazs when you got candy slime? Now you have to wonder, who at the candy factory knew that sour apple is the flavor closest to actual booger? Are there crusty bits mixed in? If I open the cap, does it just run out or do I have to pick it out? The description in the catalog also mentions that the candy slime is fat free! That's good because I was starting to get concerned about the nutritional value of my booger flavored candy slime. There are also straps to secure the nose to your ears. Well, didn't those kind people at Oriental Trading just think of everything! Do you suppose they had a test market group where one of the responses was "Well, the slime was certainly tasty but hard to eat as the nose kept sliding down my face. Ear straps would definitely help were I to be walking and trying to suck the slime out at the same time."
Now I love America but it concerns me that there are people who are paid serious money to create items like this. Where I can I send my resume?
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
I have a confession to make....
I think I'm a book-a-holic. This horrible realization came to me last Friday while I was in our local public library. The wonderful librarians set up a shelf off to the side where they sell books that have been taken out of circulation. I don't want to tell you how much they sell them for because I don't want the rest of you getting at my stash. Anyway, I saw a book I thought would be cool to read and dug through my purse looking for loose change so I could buy it. I seriously considered asking the librarian for a loan. I mean, I kind of know them since I'm there every week, but if you knew how cheap the books were you'd see how pathetic this all is. Instead, I sent my poor belabored 10 year old out to the car to get a dime that was in the coin tray so I could get this book.
I came home, put my new acquisition on top of the other books I have lined up to read and then it hit me. I have two books up stairs in my room that I'm reading. I have one downstairs that I read when I'm waiting for water to boil, cookies to bake, or the baby to finish eating, etc. I have one in the basement I read when I'm on the elliptical trainer. Not to mention the two books I have on reserve at the library waiting for me to pick them up. I think I have a problem.
My other symptoms are as follows:
Now some of you might say, "Well at least you're not addicted to alcohol or drugs!" Honestly, I think both would cost me less money and time. I can drink a beer in 10 minutes. I've spent three solid hours in a chair reading. If I went to a 12 step group, I'd probably just end up discussing addiction-related books I've read.
I came home, put my new acquisition on top of the other books I have lined up to read and then it hit me. I have two books up stairs in my room that I'm reading. I have one downstairs that I read when I'm waiting for water to boil, cookies to bake, or the baby to finish eating, etc. I have one in the basement I read when I'm on the elliptical trainer. Not to mention the two books I have on reserve at the library waiting for me to pick them up. I think I have a problem.
My other symptoms are as follows:
1. I have a love/hate relationship with the New York Times Book Review. I love it because its like reading five books in the space of a half an hour. I hate it because I end up adding six more books to my list of books to read.
2. I actually get irritated that my favorite authors are still writing because that means more books for my list.
3. I have to take a rolling suitcase to the library to take home all the stuff I borrow. The librarian actually called me personally at home once to let me know that library was going to be closed for a holiday.
4. I can't listen to NPR without adding two more books to the list.
5. About 95% of what I say to my ever patient husband begins with "You know I read somewhere that..." He actually can't recall if he's read a book or if I read it and talked his ear off about it.
6. I don't read much fiction at all because it takes time away from other categories of reading like, oh say, "The History of the AK-47" or "Economics for the Common Man" or the story behind the Cocoa Nut Grove disaster.
7. I once considered hiring a babysitter when six books I ordered arrived all at once in the mail.
8. I will read the note or bibliography section in a book to find more books to read. I've gotten to the point where I'm recognizing a lot of the stuff I've already read.
9. This is perhaps the most tell tale sign of all. I avoid going into Barnes & Noble or Borders because I end up fantasizing about having a open end charge card and going nuts in the store ("Stop complaining honey! Just empty out the U-Haul at home and bring it back for the second load!!")
Now some of you might say, "Well at least you're not addicted to alcohol or drugs!" Honestly, I think both would cost me less money and time. I can drink a beer in 10 minutes. I've spent three solid hours in a chair reading. If I went to a 12 step group, I'd probably just end up discussing addiction-related books I've read.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
more things to chuckle at
I love how people use language sometimes. Some recent examples:
1. Pepsi Max
I have a sibling who accused me of shilling for Coke recently when I was actually making fun of them (Coke that is, not the sibling. I would never do such a thing to my beloved sibling. No. Honest. Really.) In the interest of parity, I shall now bust on Pepsi.
I recently saw in my local Stop n Shop "Pepsi Max". Hmmm, what makes it "Max" you say? Looking on the can, all I could find was that it was an "invigorating" soda. Goodness me, is this a soda that comes with a cold shower? $10 off your next purchase of amphetamines? It took degrading myself by watching "The Bachelor" to see the commercial that mentioned the added ginseng and caffeine. How much more of a buzz do you need from your beverage that ordinary caffeine and sugar don't supply?
2. Village of the Damned
A little liberal arts college in the bucolic New England mountains has on the map of the campus "Village of Learning" This struck me as funny. Is it really necessary to point out that on this spot on the campus learning occurs? What else is there? The Town of Eating? The Hamlet of Sleeping? What else would go on at a college but learning? Or should I say what else should be going on? I could understand this sort of marking on a map for a preschool. You know, differentiating between the learning area and the play area but for goodness sake, if you're paying some serious cash for college, I would think you could figure out where the learning is happening on your own.
3. Curiously... curiously...curious?
A friend of ours was recently described as curiously soulful. Is this like "I didn't know you could be soulful?" or "You're introspective in a Curious George kind of way?" Just what was the author trying to say? "You're so corporate I didn't know you had a soul?"
I had to go to my trusty 1828 Webster's to look up curiously. It is defined as "With nice inspection, inquisitively, attentively" as in "you have inspected soulfulness with attention". It is also defined as "With nice care and art; exactly, neatly, elegantly" as in "You are neatly soulful. Those other guys might be sloppy but you are elegant in your soulfulness!" The last definition is "In a singular manner, unusually" as in "Wow, you're focused in you soulfulness, how unusual" I dunno. Just playing with words.
Anyway, for something so hard to define it is not a unique description. I got 63,800 hits when I Googled "curiously soulful". One was for a punk Korean group, one was for an alternative music group called the Clogs and one was for the old time musical Carousel. You're in good company Mark.
1. Pepsi Max
I have a sibling who accused me of shilling for Coke recently when I was actually making fun of them (Coke that is, not the sibling. I would never do such a thing to my beloved sibling. No. Honest. Really.) In the interest of parity, I shall now bust on Pepsi.
I recently saw in my local Stop n Shop "Pepsi Max". Hmmm, what makes it "Max" you say? Looking on the can, all I could find was that it was an "invigorating" soda. Goodness me, is this a soda that comes with a cold shower? $10 off your next purchase of amphetamines? It took degrading myself by watching "The Bachelor" to see the commercial that mentioned the added ginseng and caffeine. How much more of a buzz do you need from your beverage that ordinary caffeine and sugar don't supply?
2. Village of the Damned
A little liberal arts college in the bucolic New England mountains has on the map of the campus "Village of Learning" This struck me as funny. Is it really necessary to point out that on this spot on the campus learning occurs? What else is there? The Town of Eating? The Hamlet of Sleeping? What else would go on at a college but learning? Or should I say what else should be going on? I could understand this sort of marking on a map for a preschool. You know, differentiating between the learning area and the play area but for goodness sake, if you're paying some serious cash for college, I would think you could figure out where the learning is happening on your own.
3. Curiously... curiously...curious?
A friend of ours was recently described as curiously soulful. Is this like "I didn't know you could be soulful?" or "You're introspective in a Curious George kind of way?" Just what was the author trying to say? "You're so corporate I didn't know you had a soul?"
I had to go to my trusty 1828 Webster's to look up curiously. It is defined as "With nice inspection, inquisitively, attentively" as in "you have inspected soulfulness with attention". It is also defined as "With nice care and art; exactly, neatly, elegantly" as in "You are neatly soulful. Those other guys might be sloppy but you are elegant in your soulfulness!" The last definition is "In a singular manner, unusually" as in "Wow, you're focused in you soulfulness, how unusual" I dunno. Just playing with words.
Anyway, for something so hard to define it is not a unique description. I got 63,800 hits when I Googled "curiously soulful". One was for a punk Korean group, one was for an alternative music group called the Clogs and one was for the old time musical Carousel. You're in good company Mark.
Love or Why do I hurt myself?
I don't know why I keep doing this. This insanity has got to stop. Yet every year its the same thing. The kids do some reading for the local library reading program. As a result, they earn a ticket for a free meal at Home Town or Old Country Buffet AND WE GO THERE AND EAT!!!! Why does this upset me? (bad language warning here) BECAUSE THE FOOD SUCKS!!!! It sucks out loud! It sucks in ways that are ineffable! How do the execs at this company sleep at night? I paid $11.00 for a buffet that included a steak that looked remarkably like a Payless faux leather shoe I threw out last week! They had the nerve to charge me $3.00 so my son could eat a 1/4 cup of instant mashed potatoes, a box mix cookie and call that a meal! I half expect to look in the kitchen and find piles of Stouffer's boxes on the floor with ex-cons chained to microwave ovens chanting "pull back plastic, heat for ten minutes, remove carefully and serve". Add this to the fact that everyone and their dog is walking around the buffet with their unwashed hands sniffing and snuffling (sneeze guard, my foot!). Just what is that mysterious smell by the ice cream machine!?!
But the children love it. They're so happy when I suggest we go. And why not? Where else can they have a carbohydrate extravaganza for dinner along with a dessert buffet? My one child ate a piece of bread, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese and one fish nugget (batter dipped, of course). The Department of Youth and Families should be storming my house about now yelling, "How about some nutrients with those sugars?" But again, the children love it and my short term memory fails me, so every year we go. Next year, please, for the love of all that's good and tasty, some one call me and tell me to stop the madness.
But the children love it. They're so happy when I suggest we go. And why not? Where else can they have a carbohydrate extravaganza for dinner along with a dessert buffet? My one child ate a piece of bread, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese and one fish nugget (batter dipped, of course). The Department of Youth and Families should be storming my house about now yelling, "How about some nutrients with those sugars?" But again, the children love it and my short term memory fails me, so every year we go. Next year, please, for the love of all that's good and tasty, some one call me and tell me to stop the madness.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
GO RVing!
Well, if there is a cult for people who like to RV, sign me up! I just got back from a four day trip and I am hooked! Yes folks, you heard right! I spent four days in a large tin can with five kids under that age of 10 and I liked it! And it had nothing to do with winning the big bag of 15 candy bars! Could I use any more exclamation marks? I don't know! Let's find out!
We rented a 28 foot class C RV (that's the kind that looks like the off spring of a Ford van that mated with a Winnebago). It had a small kitchen, a bathroom with a shower and a bedroom in the back. We rented the rig from a lovely place in East Providence called E-Zee Rentals (clever name, eh?). After packing the rig up with provisions, we headed out to New Hampshire, North Woodstock to be exact, in the more than picturesque White Mountains. Between getting a bit lost in Manchester, stopping for lunch and taking our sweet time in the new ride, it took us about six hours. We arrived at the wonderful Woodstock KOA campground (co-ah or kay-oh-aye, take your pick, either way they were very helpful) late afternoon, hooked up the utilities in about 15 minutes and voila! Camping without the hassles!
Apparently we were not the only ones with this brilliant idea because the camp ground filled up fast, but despite all the campers, it didn't feel like the beer line at a Red Sox game. The camp ground had a play ground, a pool, a miniature golf course (putt-putt for all of you west of New York) and a pond to fish in. And let me tell you about the activities! One evening the girls went with Dad to a s'mores roast. The next day, they played kickball with a group. We took a hay ride, drown some worms in the pond and went to an ice cream social. But the highlight of the trip was candy bar bingo. In the last round, the "cover-all" in Bingo lexicon, Hannah, who only minutes before came back to the table after being punished for whining about the game, won the grand prize of candy, 15+ bars! The only down side of the trip was when I was playing a game with Justin in which I thought for sure I was losing (no comments from y'all!). Seeing as how I was so behind in points, I made the bet that who ever wins would have to dump the waste tanks. Wouldn't you know God has a sense of humor and I won by 2 points! Moral of the story here kids-DON'T GAMBLE! IT STINKS!
All this fun despite that fact that my first experience with an RV (when I was a kid) included a very stinky bathroom and a brother that threw up on me, so I wasn't expecting a whole lot. However, not only did we have fun camping, but on the way back we found a yard sale and a buy one get one free fireworks store. With Dwight Yoakum on the iPod and we were havin' a good ol' time!
"But it's not really camping!" you say. "So what?" I say. We had a camp fire, we ate s'mores, we saw lots of trees, and we came back smelling smoky. But unlike "traditional" tent camping, we all slept well, didn't have to shake the dirt out of every thing we brought with us, could escape the bugs, kept the food cold, didn't have to put up a tent, could play a game at night with the girls in the cool, well lit comfort of the back bedroom, and had more than enough room to pack all the stuff we needed. I do have to agree though that having a satelite dish TV hook up is a little over the top. Some of the other rigs I saw were larger than my house. At that point, you're not camping, you're relocating.
So, I will now be accepting donations for the Dawn Kerr RV Fund. Contributions are not tax deductible but those who donate will receive a postcard from the next KOA site! For the rest of you-GO RVing!!!
We rented a 28 foot class C RV (that's the kind that looks like the off spring of a Ford van that mated with a Winnebago). It had a small kitchen, a bathroom with a shower and a bedroom in the back. We rented the rig from a lovely place in East Providence called E-Zee Rentals (clever name, eh?). After packing the rig up with provisions, we headed out to New Hampshire, North Woodstock to be exact, in the more than picturesque White Mountains. Between getting a bit lost in Manchester, stopping for lunch and taking our sweet time in the new ride, it took us about six hours. We arrived at the wonderful Woodstock KOA campground (co-ah or kay-oh-aye, take your pick, either way they were very helpful) late afternoon, hooked up the utilities in about 15 minutes and voila! Camping without the hassles!
Apparently we were not the only ones with this brilliant idea because the camp ground filled up fast, but despite all the campers, it didn't feel like the beer line at a Red Sox game. The camp ground had a play ground, a pool, a miniature golf course (putt-putt for all of you west of New York) and a pond to fish in. And let me tell you about the activities! One evening the girls went with Dad to a s'mores roast. The next day, they played kickball with a group. We took a hay ride, drown some worms in the pond and went to an ice cream social. But the highlight of the trip was candy bar bingo. In the last round, the "cover-all" in Bingo lexicon, Hannah, who only minutes before came back to the table after being punished for whining about the game, won the grand prize of candy, 15+ bars! The only down side of the trip was when I was playing a game with Justin in which I thought for sure I was losing (no comments from y'all!). Seeing as how I was so behind in points, I made the bet that who ever wins would have to dump the waste tanks. Wouldn't you know God has a sense of humor and I won by 2 points! Moral of the story here kids-DON'T GAMBLE! IT STINKS!
All this fun despite that fact that my first experience with an RV (when I was a kid) included a very stinky bathroom and a brother that threw up on me, so I wasn't expecting a whole lot. However, not only did we have fun camping, but on the way back we found a yard sale and a buy one get one free fireworks store. With Dwight Yoakum on the iPod and we were havin' a good ol' time!
"But it's not really camping!" you say. "So what?" I say. We had a camp fire, we ate s'mores, we saw lots of trees, and we came back smelling smoky. But unlike "traditional" tent camping, we all slept well, didn't have to shake the dirt out of every thing we brought with us, could escape the bugs, kept the food cold, didn't have to put up a tent, could play a game at night with the girls in the cool, well lit comfort of the back bedroom, and had more than enough room to pack all the stuff we needed. I do have to agree though that having a satelite dish TV hook up is a little over the top. Some of the other rigs I saw were larger than my house. At that point, you're not camping, you're relocating.
So, I will now be accepting donations for the Dawn Kerr RV Fund. Contributions are not tax deductible but those who donate will receive a postcard from the next KOA site! For the rest of you-GO RVing!!!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
So Much to Chuckle About
1. I swear it's not my fault! I was born this way!!
This is from Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus ("This book changed my life!!"-Dari Mullins)
Chatter on ladies! It's your birthright!
2. Coke Plus
Yes folks, believe it or not Coca Cola has come out with a diet soda with vitamins and minerals. Healthy junk food! No, honest! Really! Somethin' yer mamma would be proud of! I looked at the ingredients list (yes, I know, dumb idea) and could hardly pronounce a word in the list. But hey! What do I care? To heck with the grilled chicken salad with a glass of lemon water! Pass me a Coke Plus!
This is from Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus ("This book changed my life!!"-Dari Mullins)
Researchers at Queens' University in Belfast, Northern Ireland, discovered that girl babies move their mouths more than boy babies even before birth. Ultrasounds performed on pregnant women showed that twenty weeks into gestation, girls made about 30 percent more mouth movements per hour than boys.
Chatter on ladies! It's your birthright!
2. Coke Plus
Yes folks, believe it or not Coca Cola has come out with a diet soda with vitamins and minerals. Healthy junk food! No, honest! Really! Somethin' yer mamma would be proud of! I looked at the ingredients list (yes, I know, dumb idea) and could hardly pronounce a word in the list. But hey! What do I care? To heck with the grilled chicken salad with a glass of lemon water! Pass me a Coke Plus!
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day Ladies!
It's that joyous time of year again where we can sit back and say "I ain't cooking tonight!"
My darling babies, without whom I would not qualify to celebrate this day, ask me every year what I want for Mother's Day. Every year I tell them "peace and quiet" and every year they roll their eyes and mutter something about me being difficult to shop for. So I thought I'd help them out by making a list on my blog (which I haven't visited for so long that I actually found cobwebs when I tried to log in).
1. A Left-Over-Nator
This device will remove all food substances from my refrigerator that have become inedible, cheerfully wash out the funky storage containers and gently inform me in the morning that what I was planning on serving tonight is no longer available. The optional "Alternative-Meal-O-Matic" would be appreciated.
2. A caramel latte delivered to my door every day at 1:30 during quiet time (iced during the summer, please)
3. NO MORE SILLY ARTICLES ABOUT HOW MUCH MOMS ARE WORTH IN THE JOB MARKET
I'm getting a little tired of these brain trusts informing me that I am worth $130,000. What as I suppose to do with that information? Bean my husband over the head with it? If he doesn't respect me now, some pithy little article like this won't open him up to a new reality. To find our self worth in a monetary amount is to miss why we do what we do in the first place.
4. A Universal Toddler Translator
Now the bible tells me I'm not suppose to frustrate my kids but when I need to ask my Farsi speaking two year old to tell me again what it is he's point to, I'm not sure I can abide by that rule.
5. A Sock Coordinator
I want someone to find the missing mate for each sock in the large box sitting in my hallway. This person will also be in charge of sewing on missing buttons, patching knees in pants, alerting me prior to 9:00 pm that the girls have run out of clean underwear, and keep my boys from going out in flood pants.
6. A self cleaning high chair with shower attachment
Anyone who's fed a baby spaghetti will understand what I mean.
7. Some sort of pharmaceutical (wow, I spelled that correctly!) that will cure my 1 year old of his intense desire to play with dangerous items.
He has $300.00 worth of baby toys tested to be educational and more fun than a weekend in Vegas yet he always manages to find the one sharp pencil on left on the floor and run through the house with it.
8. A 5 minute exercise/dental health plan
I want to be able to get all the benefits of exercising regularly (including weight training) and floss and brush and rinse and flouride my teeth six times a day all in five minutes. That way I can devote the saved time to watching Russian traffic videos on Youtube.
Well, that's my list for now. It's not too much to ask for, is it?
It's that joyous time of year again where we can sit back and say "I ain't cooking tonight!"
My darling babies, without whom I would not qualify to celebrate this day, ask me every year what I want for Mother's Day. Every year I tell them "peace and quiet" and every year they roll their eyes and mutter something about me being difficult to shop for. So I thought I'd help them out by making a list on my blog (which I haven't visited for so long that I actually found cobwebs when I tried to log in).
1. A Left-Over-Nator
This device will remove all food substances from my refrigerator that have become inedible, cheerfully wash out the funky storage containers and gently inform me in the morning that what I was planning on serving tonight is no longer available. The optional "Alternative-Meal-O-Matic" would be appreciated.
2. A caramel latte delivered to my door every day at 1:30 during quiet time (iced during the summer, please)
3. NO MORE SILLY ARTICLES ABOUT HOW MUCH MOMS ARE WORTH IN THE JOB MARKET
I'm getting a little tired of these brain trusts informing me that I am worth $130,000. What as I suppose to do with that information? Bean my husband over the head with it? If he doesn't respect me now, some pithy little article like this won't open him up to a new reality. To find our self worth in a monetary amount is to miss why we do what we do in the first place.
4. A Universal Toddler Translator
Now the bible tells me I'm not suppose to frustrate my kids but when I need to ask my Farsi speaking two year old to tell me again what it is he's point to, I'm not sure I can abide by that rule.
5. A Sock Coordinator
I want someone to find the missing mate for each sock in the large box sitting in my hallway. This person will also be in charge of sewing on missing buttons, patching knees in pants, alerting me prior to 9:00 pm that the girls have run out of clean underwear, and keep my boys from going out in flood pants.
6. A self cleaning high chair with shower attachment
Anyone who's fed a baby spaghetti will understand what I mean.
7. Some sort of pharmaceutical (wow, I spelled that correctly!) that will cure my 1 year old of his intense desire to play with dangerous items.
He has $300.00 worth of baby toys tested to be educational and more fun than a weekend in Vegas yet he always manages to find the one sharp pencil on left on the floor and run through the house with it.
8. A 5 minute exercise/dental health plan
I want to be able to get all the benefits of exercising regularly (including weight training) and floss and brush and rinse and flouride my teeth six times a day all in five minutes. That way I can devote the saved time to watching Russian traffic videos on Youtube.
Well, that's my list for now. It's not too much to ask for, is it?
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Good Reading
There hasn't been much to write about (that means nothing has gotten my ire up recently). However, I did recently read two very good books:
Not a Genuine Black Man: Or, How I Claimed My Piece of Ground in the Lily-White Suburbs by Brian Copeland
Very interesting book on race relations in California. I thought the West Coast was a little more progressive than us stodgey folks in New England but I guess stupidity can be a national past time. Made me laugh and cry all within one chapter.
Shockwave : Countdown to Hiroshima by Stephen Walker
Very interesting (notice a trend here?) book that documents the countdown to using the bomb. I thought is was a very evenhanded approach (nobody is the obvious villian/hero perhaps because this was written by an Englishman). Its amazing how decisions are made regarding people's lives.
I know I mentioned "To Hell With That: Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife" by Caitlin Flanagan in a previous blog but the interview with the author in World magazine turned out to be more interesting than the book itself. Although I did like the line about family dinners neccessitating a family who is unambitious enough to be all hanging around the house at 5:30 pm every day.
Right now on the old side table by the bed is a book on the history of the Pill and "The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes Us Smarter" by Katherine Ellison. I thought I'd let the two books duke it out.
Any one of the above books are available at your local library, one of my favorite places. I swear if they served coffee there, I'd never leave.
Feel free to leave some book recommendations of your own.
 |
Very interesting book on race relations in California. I thought the West Coast was a little more progressive than us stodgey folks in New England but I guess stupidity can be a national past time. Made me laugh and cry all within one chapter.
 |
Very interesting (notice a trend here?) book that documents the countdown to using the bomb. I thought is was a very evenhanded approach (nobody is the obvious villian/hero perhaps because this was written by an Englishman). Its amazing how decisions are made regarding people's lives.
I know I mentioned "To Hell With That: Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife" by Caitlin Flanagan in a previous blog but the interview with the author in World magazine turned out to be more interesting than the book itself. Although I did like the line about family dinners neccessitating a family who is unambitious enough to be all hanging around the house at 5:30 pm every day.
Right now on the old side table by the bed is a book on the history of the Pill and "The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes Us Smarter" by Katherine Ellison. I thought I'd let the two books duke it out.
Any one of the above books are available at your local library, one of my favorite places. I swear if they served coffee there, I'd never leave.
Feel free to leave some book recommendations of your own.
Monday, August 14, 2006
I'm Sorry
This has been something I've been thinking about recently. Whenever us moms see a particularly thin mom (that is, someone thinner than us) we have a tendency to just go nuts. However well behaved and well spoken we were before, amongst ourselves we unleash a torrent of "Oh my gosh, that's so not fair! Do you see how skinny she is! She's had three kids and she looks like a model! That's just not right!" etc., etc. and so on and so forth. And sometimes we say to the thin moms themselves "You're so skinny! Look at you!"
Why do we do this? Its not like these gals cut in line ahead of us at the metabolism counter. Did they mess with our DNA in a lab somewhere? Have they done anything to us personally to make us bigger than they? I've come to the conclusion that I've merely been acting out of jealousy and that's just stupid. Besides which, we ladies put up with enough image issues from our culture, we don't need to pile it on each other. As the mom of five kids, I've gotten a lot of comments myself (Are they all yours? Don't you know what causes that? You must have you hands full!) and I wonder why people say these things. The comments are not really critical of me but they're not particularly helpful or edifying either. I can imagine its the same for the thin moms. How does it help her that I voice my jealousy to her or even worse, behind her back?
So, to any mom I've might have said this about or to, I now humbly apologise and will endeavor not to do this again. The rest of you can help me be accountable.
Why do we do this? Its not like these gals cut in line ahead of us at the metabolism counter. Did they mess with our DNA in a lab somewhere? Have they done anything to us personally to make us bigger than they? I've come to the conclusion that I've merely been acting out of jealousy and that's just stupid. Besides which, we ladies put up with enough image issues from our culture, we don't need to pile it on each other. As the mom of five kids, I've gotten a lot of comments myself (Are they all yours? Don't you know what causes that? You must have you hands full!) and I wonder why people say these things. The comments are not really critical of me but they're not particularly helpful or edifying either. I can imagine its the same for the thin moms. How does it help her that I voice my jealousy to her or even worse, behind her back?
So, to any mom I've might have said this about or to, I now humbly apologise and will endeavor not to do this again. The rest of you can help me be accountable.
A Lesson from a Body Function
So I'm nursing my two month old baby John when he pulls back and flashes one of those smiles. All you Moms know the smile I'm talking about. The one that makes you forgive the baby of everything he's done today, tomorrow and up to when he's 18 (perhaps further if its a really big grin). "This is why I'm a stay at home mom," I say to myself (proudly, which is perhaps the problem),"Why, if I were working I'd miss this precious little smile. Its smiles like this that make it worth being a stay at home mom" Then John passes wind and fills his diaper (he's still smiling, mind you). And that little toot makes me realize that its not about me, its about what the baby needs. I shouldn't stay home with the kids so I can get these cute little moments but because its what's best for them right now.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Notes on Today
Both of these comments pertain to events today.
To the black Plymouth Neon waiting in line at 8:30 am at the Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru in Central Falls, RI (you know who you are) regarding the bumper sticker on the back of your car "Any man who can render himself unconscious with a pretzel isn't smart enough to lead the free world": It's called choking! Most people do not voluntarily submit to choking or choose what they'd like to choke on! I can only hope that if by some freak chance you "render yourself unconscious" on something (perhaps it will be your foot but hopefully something more "significant" than a mere snack food), that some kind soul will look past your spitefulness and save your sorry tush.
To the kind lady at the Stop N Shop deli counter in Attleboro, MA at 11:00 am upon seeing me with three boys: My comment was "I'm concerned about when they grow up." I meant to clarify my concern was that they will eat me out of house and home. She replied, "Oh, don't worry. I've got three teenage boys and they're wonderful." She did not, I repeat, did not give me standard line number 56 "Just wait until they're teenagers!" I could have kissed her for that but that would have set off a whole other chain of events (which probably would have made for great blog fodder)
Hey! blog fodder! I've created a trendy term! First Web 2.0, now Blog Fodder!
To the black Plymouth Neon waiting in line at 8:30 am at the Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru in Central Falls, RI (you know who you are) regarding the bumper sticker on the back of your car "Any man who can render himself unconscious with a pretzel isn't smart enough to lead the free world": It's called choking! Most people do not voluntarily submit to choking or choose what they'd like to choke on! I can only hope that if by some freak chance you "render yourself unconscious" on something (perhaps it will be your foot but hopefully something more "significant" than a mere snack food), that some kind soul will look past your spitefulness and save your sorry tush.
To the kind lady at the Stop N Shop deli counter in Attleboro, MA at 11:00 am upon seeing me with three boys: My comment was "I'm concerned about when they grow up." I meant to clarify my concern was that they will eat me out of house and home. She replied, "Oh, don't worry. I've got three teenage boys and they're wonderful." She did not, I repeat, did not give me standard line number 56 "Just wait until they're teenagers!" I could have kissed her for that but that would have set off a whole other chain of events (which probably would have made for great blog fodder)
Hey! blog fodder! I've created a trendy term! First Web 2.0, now Blog Fodder!
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Finally, A Post!
Wow, close to four months since I last posted. There's probably cobwebs on my site.
I have not been inspired to write on any particular subject so I'll just do one of those insipid "random thoughts" kind of posts (there's a columnist in my local paper who monthly does one of these and gets paid for it!!!!)
Anyway, here goes
1. What have I been up to that I haven't posted in so long?
Playing Spider Solitaire until my eyes bleed!
Seriously, I gave birth to our fifth child on May 22nd (for all you groupies, that's five days past the end of Holy Week). I went to the hospital for a routine test and was told I was in labor. Good thing I got that iced latte before the appointment! John Owen was born via c-section (with enough time for the ob/gyn to make it to his Red Sox game!). Let me tell you what a surreal experience that is, being cut open while still conscious. The little slugger weighed 9lbs, 12oz. I'm hoping for an NFL scholarship for the kid.
2. Bad Mommy Award goes to....
Me! for letting my kid get so tired that he fell asleep with half an ice cream sandwich melting under his leg.
3. Pleeeaase, make them stop!!!
All those people who feel the need to say
"Are they all yours?"
"You must have your hands full" and my personal favorite
"I can hardly handle the two I've got"
I'm doing this to save the Social Security fund! I'm doing this to off set the population implosion in Italy, Germany and well, pretty much most of the world except Ireland (must be the Guiness...)
4. A book I'm dying to read
"To Hell With That: Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife" by Caitlin Flanagan. Just the title alone makes me want to skip over to Amazon.com. Check out this little tidbit of inflamatory writing (from an interview in World Magazine, July 18, 2006)
Now ladies, before y'all start sending me death threats, I am by no means saying we should be Stepford wives. However, but the above comment does make me think, how much do I complain about my day and more importantly, I am legitimately trying to find help or just complaining? "Better to live out in the desert than with a nagging, complaining wife." Pro 21:19 (MSG)
5. On a less Preachy note
High mucky muck Vladimir Putin got some bad PR as of late for giving some kid a raspberry on the belly. From Vlad the Impaler to Vlad the Raspberrier. Is this the kinder, gentler Russia? (yes, I know Vlad the Impaler was Romanian) Now Mr. Putin's defense of his actions was that the kid looked too serious and Vlad just wanted to pick him up and "cuddle him like a kitten". Not that I think what he did was outrageous, but Putin doesn't really strike me as a kitten and puppies type of guy. Wasn't Putin formerly of the KGB? Am I to believe this former master of espionage just needs a cuddle every now and then?
Well, that's enough mindless blathering for now. Thanks for stopping by!
I have not been inspired to write on any particular subject so I'll just do one of those insipid "random thoughts" kind of posts (there's a columnist in my local paper who monthly does one of these and gets paid for it!!!!)
Anyway, here goes
1. What have I been up to that I haven't posted in so long?
Playing Spider Solitaire until my eyes bleed!
Seriously, I gave birth to our fifth child on May 22nd (for all you groupies, that's five days past the end of Holy Week). I went to the hospital for a routine test and was told I was in labor. Good thing I got that iced latte before the appointment! John Owen was born via c-section (with enough time for the ob/gyn to make it to his Red Sox game!). Let me tell you what a surreal experience that is, being cut open while still conscious. The little slugger weighed 9lbs, 12oz. I'm hoping for an NFL scholarship for the kid.
2. Bad Mommy Award goes to....
Me! for letting my kid get so tired that he fell asleep with half an ice cream sandwich melting under his leg.
3. Pleeeaase, make them stop!!!
All those people who feel the need to say
"Are they all yours?"
"You must have your hands full" and my personal favorite
"I can hardly handle the two I've got"
I'm doing this to save the Social Security fund! I'm doing this to off set the population implosion in Italy, Germany and well, pretty much most of the world except Ireland (must be the Guiness...)
4. A book I'm dying to read
"To Hell With That: Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife" by Caitlin Flanagan. Just the title alone makes me want to skip over to Amazon.com. Check out this little tidbit of inflamatory writing (from an interview in World Magazine, July 18, 2006)
"...remember that the women's movement was built on a powerful notion of liberation-liberation from unjust laws, from unfair customs and expectations. The movement achieved powerful aims quickly...What has lingered, though, is a sense that women are still being oppressed and that they have to be on guard all the time. You end up with these crazy arrangements-the wife decides to stay home with the children, but she's darned if she's going to clean, or cook, or do the laundry. She's been liberated from those horrible chores! And the poor husband who works all day to support the family comes home to no dinner, no orderly household, and a cheesed off wife who hands him a cranky baby and complains about her day."
Now ladies, before y'all start sending me death threats, I am by no means saying we should be Stepford wives. However, but the above comment does make me think, how much do I complain about my day and more importantly, I am legitimately trying to find help or just complaining? "Better to live out in the desert than with a nagging, complaining wife." Pro 21:19 (MSG)
5. On a less Preachy note
High mucky muck Vladimir Putin got some bad PR as of late for giving some kid a raspberry on the belly. From Vlad the Impaler to Vlad the Raspberrier. Is this the kinder, gentler Russia? (yes, I know Vlad the Impaler was Romanian) Now Mr. Putin's defense of his actions was that the kid looked too serious and Vlad just wanted to pick him up and "cuddle him like a kitten". Not that I think what he did was outrageous, but Putin doesn't really strike me as a kitten and puppies type of guy. Wasn't Putin formerly of the KGB? Am I to believe this former master of espionage just needs a cuddle every now and then?
Well, that's enough mindless blathering for now. Thanks for stopping by!
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
More Fun Facts or Why You Should Play Nice
I found this in the Providence Sunday Journal Lifebeat section this week (April 2). Just further proves the points made in previous blogs.
Moral of the story? Play nice-live longer!
Spouses try a little tenderness
You care about your heart, so you don't smoke and you exercise. Maybe you should also lay off the negativity and controlling comments when you talk to your spouse. A three-year study of older married couples conducted by the University of Utah found a link between the quality of relationships and atherosclerosis, or the narrowing of the arteries that carry blood to the heart.
In the study, researchers evaluated videotapes of dialogue between 150 married couples, (At least one member of each couple was between 60 and 70 years of age) Sitting across a table from each other, the couples were asked to talk about a subject of disagreement in their marriage, be it money, in-laws, children or household duties.
Two days later, husband and wife underwent a CT scan of the chest to determine his or her level of coronary artery blockage. The findings differed according to gender. For a woman, hostility in the marital relationship -whether on her part or her husband's - was associated with a build-up of plaque in the coronary arteries. For a man, the important factor was not hostility but control. Men who were controlling toward their wife, or had a controlling spouse, were more likely to have atherosclerosis.
"A low-quality relationship is a risk factor for cardiovascular disease," concludes study co-author Tim Smith. However, it appears that men and women focus on different factors in gauging a relationship's "quality."
-JOURNAL WIRE REPORTS
Moral of the story? Play nice-live longer!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Women vs. Men, part II
Wow, two posts in one day!
This is the partner to the post containing Hubby's recent opinion survey of women regarding men. He went to the church men's dinner and asked the guys, "What is the one thing you wish women understood better about men?" Below is his report of the responses. As usual, I've interjected some comments because, hey, its my blog and I'll pontificate if I want to!
Consider the following:
1. you chose to get married, have kids and stay home with them.
2. even if the kids are horrible, you can discipline them and send them to their rooms for the rest of the day. Can hubby do that with his co-workers?
3. you can completely blow your job and have chance to try again tomorrow. Hubby completely blows his jobs, he could get fired.
4. you can phone it in by having the kids watch two hours of tv. Hubby cannot set the boss up in front of Tele Tubbies and hope that he leaves him alone for a bit.
5. watching the kids grow, listening to their funny statements, getting sponteous smiles, hugs and kisses from them is priceless. When I was working outside the house, I didn't want any hugs and kisses from my co-workers!
If your man has a job he goes to day in and day out to support the rest of you, cut him some slack and give him a nice place to come home to.
Shaunti Feldhahn, a Christian columnist and author said at a retreat she was on, the participants were asked, "Given a choice between feeling alone and unloved, and feeling inadequate and disrespected, which would you rather feel?" Overwhelmingly, the women chose to feel disrespected rather than alone or unloved. But men said they would choose to feel alone and unloved rather than to feel disrespected. Interesting, eh?
Okay enough sermon, time for chocolate
This is the partner to the post containing Hubby's recent opinion survey of women regarding men. He went to the church men's dinner and asked the guys, "What is the one thing you wish women understood better about men?" Below is his report of the responses. As usual, I've interjected some comments because, hey, its my blog and I'll pontificate if I want to!
I think the men responded well to the ladies' survey responses although there may have been a few men that were surprised that the number one response from women was "listen."I love that last paragraph. I told you Hubby was a great guy. Okay, let's continue....
Overall, I think men would like women to understand that, while we are different, we are not mindless neanderthals that need "fixing" like the sit-com husbands (not everybody loves Raymond).
My hope is that these surveys would spur conversation among men and women so that we can learn to understand and love one another better. That we could use our differences to complement each other rather than using them as a wedge to divide us.
We Are Different (and that's ok)If you want them to have respect for the things you do, you have to show respect for what they do. You can guild the lily by taking an actual interest in their hobbies, but don't try to fake it. I think being patronize hurts more than being ignored.
• Please have respect for our interests and hobbies (even if you don't understand them).
• Understand that our sexual needs and desires are different from yours.Men are visual. Make peace with this and then go to Frederick's of Hollywood and have some fun! Read Tommy Nelson's "Book of Romance" (a teaching on the Song of Solomon) and have even more fun!
• We are not always "thinking about something." Sometimes we just vegetate.I think only women are capable of worrying 24/7 about something (hormonal pregnant ladies take the gold medal in this division)
• A result of our God-given "need for adventure" is that sometimes we do spontaneous things.
CommunicationFace it ladies, we've made talking a sublime art form. There's actually a statistic out there that compares how many words are spoke by women each day compared to the men. Let's either not expect them to talk as much as we do or be patient while they catch up to us.
• We are not mind readers.
• Our communication methods are not as complex as yours and sometimes a short answer is sufficient to explain how our day was.
• We need time and space to think about things, especially if it is something important.James Dobson's book, Bringing Up Boys talks about how early in a baby's development in utero, the hormone surge that creates the male genitals also messes with the synaptic connections between the two hemispheres of the brain. This does not mean men are brain damaged, it just means that thoughts and emotions do not move through their heads at the lightening speed it does in a woman. Come to think of it, we could all benefit by slowing down a bit...
RelationalAmen! Holding a grudge or keeping score of when your partner messed up is like taking poison and waiting for the other guy to die. It will make your life miserable.
• We would like to be forgiven when we've apologized and move on. A corollary to this is a request to not project onto us how other men in your life may have mistreated you.
• We are vulnerable sometimes (we can be hurt) and not always the invincible tower of strength in every situation.I think a lot of women assume that since men aren't as emotive as we are, that they don't get hurt as easily or that they will recover quicker from a hurt.
• We need some understanding at the end of the work day and time to adjust to being home.Now here's a touchy subject. I'm going to say somethings that might cheese some of you off. Sometimes we stay at home moms have a tendency to look at ourselves as martyrs. i.e "Nobody else has a tougher job than we do, if your day was bad, mine was worse because I was stuck here with the kids, I don't get a break, etc., etc."
Consider the following:
1. you chose to get married, have kids and stay home with them.
2. even if the kids are horrible, you can discipline them and send them to their rooms for the rest of the day. Can hubby do that with his co-workers?
3. you can completely blow your job and have chance to try again tomorrow. Hubby completely blows his jobs, he could get fired.
4. you can phone it in by having the kids watch two hours of tv. Hubby cannot set the boss up in front of Tele Tubbies and hope that he leaves him alone for a bit.
5. watching the kids grow, listening to their funny statements, getting sponteous smiles, hugs and kisses from them is priceless. When I was working outside the house, I didn't want any hugs and kisses from my co-workers!
If your man has a job he goes to day in and day out to support the rest of you, cut him some slack and give him a nice place to come home to.
• We do have emotional needs. Sensitivity to and affirmation of this would go a long way towards winning us over.I don't think a lot of us realize this because a lot of men act like neanderthals, but I'd wager that half of that off behaviour is to cover up an emotional need or hurt.
Shaunti Feldhahn, a Christian columnist and author said at a retreat she was on, the participants were asked, "Given a choice between feeling alone and unloved, and feeling inadequate and disrespected, which would you rather feel?" Overwhelmingly, the women chose to feel disrespected rather than alone or unloved. But men said they would choose to feel alone and unloved rather than to feel disrespected. Interesting, eh?
Okay enough sermon, time for chocolate
Can't Help Myself Any Longer
Yesterday I was in the midwife's office and I overheard yet another conversation regarding raising boys versus raising girls (mind you, I was not eaves dropping as these ladies were seated right next to me). Its seems our society has bought into the lie that it is harder to raise girls rather than boys. The usual reasons given are that girls are whinier than boys, more emotional and just generally more difficult. While I realize I'm still in the early years of child rearing, I really feel the need to say a few things about this line of thinking:
Which brings me to my final comment (advice which I often need to follow as well)
1. ALL children are a challenge to raise, girls or boys. Hear me? ALL CHILDREN
2. Where the !@#$ are the feminists to rebuke this reasoning, this somewhat baseless, subjective attack on girls?
3. What blows my mind is that the people usually saying girls are whinier are the women, and quite frequently in front of their daughters. Don't these women remember that they were once girls, or were they the non-whiney, compliant types? Do they not think comments like this affect the girls standing right next to them?
Which brings me to my final comment (advice which I often need to follow as well)
For the love of all that's good, if you can't say something nice about your kids in public-SHUT UP! Stuff it! Pretend you suddenly lost the ability to speak!
Saturday, February 18, 2006
hitting a nerve...
My dear hubby, who co-leads a men's group at church, sent out the following question in preparation for a presentation he was making. Since a lot of the respondents wanted to know what the overall results were, we decided to post them on this blog. And since I can't help myself, I've interspersed my comments in his. Justin's original text is indented.
A great book to read about the different way men & women communicate is "You Just Don't Understand" by Deborah Tannen. Its a facinating look into how men & women use language differently. I would make it a must read for any person thinking of getting married. Heck, its a must read for anyone who hasn't read it yet.
Another book to read if you want to understand your man better is "Wild At Heart" by John Eldrige. For those of you with boys, you will read this book and go "Ohhhh, so that's why..." about every 15 minutes. He has another book he wrote with his wife about women for men but I haven't read it yet.
Another comment I would add to this, ladies, is until your man embraces this truth, try to communicate what you need, think, feel, etc. in a way that doesn't make him feel like an idiot
i.e. avoid statements like "Why do I always have to tell you!?"
"Well, duh!"
"Do you think you could....." or the variation "Would it kill you to...."
"That is so like you to not...."
I think this has more to do with respect. We don't want to be treated at the "little misses" or the "ol' ball and chain" If we ask you to do something and you do it in a timely manner it means "I heard your request and you matter enough to me that I made it a priority"
I apologize for the preachy tone of this blog. I am by no means the authority on relationships between men and women but am merely sharing what has worked well for me and what I've read. I feel I must insert this last comment though. For the love of all that's good ladies, treat you hubby like he's the best thing that happened to you, because on most days, he is!! If you think about it honestly, who else would put up with you? Orlando Bloom is busy, Mel Gibson is taken (with 9 kids, mind you) and George Clooney, Heath Ledger and Russell Crowe are unreliable. On the days when hubby doesn't act like the best thing in you life, he's more likely to rise to the occassion if you treat him well than if you treat him like a pebble in your shoe.
Ok now that I got that off my chest, I'm going to go have some chocolate.
What Women WantSince it was an e-mail, we were surprised how many responded and how quickly some responded.
Thanks to all of you who responded to my survey question:
"What is one thing you would like men to understand better about women?"
The results were enlightening. I distilled all the responses into five categories and then assigned each category a percentage of the total responses.
1. Listen (33%)
Most of the comments weren't "we want men to read our minds," but "simply listen to what we say and don't be so quick to offer solutions." Empathy seems to be highly regarded among women in general.
A great book to read about the different way men & women communicate is "You Just Don't Understand" by Deborah Tannen. Its a facinating look into how men & women use language differently. I would make it a must read for any person thinking of getting married. Heck, its a must read for anyone who hasn't read it yet.
2. Recognize we are different (22%)
Aside from obvious physical differences, women commented that they want men to understand they are fundamentally different. The way they speak, think, feel, what excites them, what they need, etc.
Another book to read if you want to understand your man better is "Wild At Heart" by John Eldrige. For those of you with boys, you will read this book and go "Ohhhh, so that's why..." about every 15 minutes. He has another book he wrote with his wife about women for men but I haven't read it yet.
Another comment I would add to this, ladies, is until your man embraces this truth, try to communicate what you need, think, feel, etc. in a way that doesn't make him feel like an idiot
i.e. avoid statements like "Why do I always have to tell you!?"
"Well, duh!"
"Do you think you could....." or the variation "Would it kill you to...."
"That is so like you to not...."
3. Validate us (22%)This could be a whole other discussion on the impact of the feminist movement has had on personal relationships between men & women, which is a blog for another day. There's also discussion in here for how society views women in general (supermodels, pornography, men with breasts, etc.), how we view ourselves and how we should be viewed.
I thought it was interesting that this had equal weight with #2. While distinctly different from men, women want to be treated, not the same, but equal. They want to feel they have just as much value as men and that what they say and feel is important too.
4. Treat us like a friend (11%)AMEN!! Women are relational beings. I think for a husband to tell his wife "I appreciate your friendship. Your thoughs and opinions mean a lot to me" would send her over the moon. I don't think the same is always true for a man. He would appreciate the comment but I think he finds his value in other facets of the relationship. Find out what sentence would send him over the moon (Yes, "Hey baby, ya wanna..." is a valid sentence. Like the comments show-we are different beings and we value different things.)
I don't think this one needs any explanation.
5. Respond to requests in a timely manner (11%)
I think this one speaks to the communication gap between men and women. Probably could have been folded into #1.
I think this has more to do with respect. We don't want to be treated at the "little misses" or the "ol' ball and chain" If we ask you to do something and you do it in a timely manner it means "I heard your request and you matter enough to me that I made it a priority"
I apologize for the preachy tone of this blog. I am by no means the authority on relationships between men and women but am merely sharing what has worked well for me and what I've read. I feel I must insert this last comment though. For the love of all that's good ladies, treat you hubby like he's the best thing that happened to you, because on most days, he is!! If you think about it honestly, who else would put up with you? Orlando Bloom is busy, Mel Gibson is taken (with 9 kids, mind you) and George Clooney, Heath Ledger and Russell Crowe are unreliable. On the days when hubby doesn't act like the best thing in you life, he's more likely to rise to the occassion if you treat him well than if you treat him like a pebble in your shoe.
Ok now that I got that off my chest, I'm going to go have some chocolate.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Phoning it in
Well, its been a while and there hasn't been an article or event that got my fur up so.....gasp! I don't have much to say!
Some random thoughts then...
1. I hope y'all watched John Stossel's report on 20/20 entitled "Stupid in America" (I would have watched it just for the title. I especially loved a friend's comment "Gee that was going to be the title of my autobiography."). You can check out an overview report at
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Stossel/story?id=1500338.
Then check out this commentary about it at http://www.gopusa.com/theloft/?p=196
VIVA LA REVOLUCION!
2. I'm thinking of starting a list of books called "All Good Americans Need to Read..."
I would love to get everyone's input. I'll start
I could go on but then I'll sound like one of those wacko conservative pundits.
Wait a minute.....
3. My friend Arlene has a new blog. She's a darling person and its worth checking out: http://dancingtothebeatofadifferentdrum.blogspot.com
4. Justin is as wonderful as ever (I warned you about this in an earlier blog so don't gag at your computer like this is the first time you've heard this!!)
Ok that's enough rambling for now.
Some random thoughts then...
1. I hope y'all watched John Stossel's report on 20/20 entitled "Stupid in America" (I would have watched it just for the title. I especially loved a friend's comment "Gee that was going to be the title of my autobiography."). You can check out an overview report at
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Stossel/story?id=1500338.
Then check out this commentary about it at http://www.gopusa.com/theloft/?p=196
VIVA LA REVOLUCION!
2. I'm thinking of starting a list of books called "All Good Americans Need to Read..."
I would love to get everyone's input. I'll start
- book #1 (actually more like an item) THE CONSTITUTION! Yes, if you are older than 20 and you haven't read an actual word for word facsimile thereof, you should be thrashed with a wet noodle.
- book #2 John Adams by David McCullough
- book #3 The Tragedy of American Compassion by Marvin Olasky
I could go on but then I'll sound like one of those wacko conservative pundits.
Wait a minute.....
3. My friend Arlene has a new blog. She's a darling person and its worth checking out: http://dancingtothebeatofadifferentdrum.blogspot.com
4. Justin is as wonderful as ever (I warned you about this in an earlier blog so don't gag at your computer like this is the first time you've heard this!!)
Ok that's enough rambling for now.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
About Sunday School
For those of you who do not attend church regularly, you might want to wait this post out. But for those of you who do, read on!
Dear Church Family,Have you made a New Year’s resolution? Is it to lose weight? Spend more time with the family? Get more involved in God’s kingdom? I’m writing about a particular mission field that needs your help. Some consider this people group uncivilized or unreachable. I say they’re just misunderstood. Their language is similar to our own and the food is actually quite palatable. They’re often overlooked as being insignificant to the larger kingdom but I think they will perhaps be bigger players on the world scene than we given them credit for, but only if we help. Have you guessed this people group? It is the children in the Sunday School classes.
What we do with them now, what we teach them, the time we invest will shape the future of the church. What is our vision for the church? If its big and far reaching, then we need to consider where we’re going to get tomorrow’s leaders from and how they will be made, formed, and prepared for their jobs in the kingdom.
We can think of lots of reasons why we can’t help in Sunday School. We’re not qualified, we don’t “do” children well. Some might think its an insignificant ministry to be stuck downstairs with the kids. But who will say “Yes Lord, pick me! Yes Lord, I will follow!” ? If you do not, then who will? Are you sure there’s a “someone else”?
Jesus said in Matthew 19:14, “Let the children come to me and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Say it again. Say it loud. The big prize we all strive for, hope for, pray for is already theirs! Are you not the least bit curious why? Do you not want to learn what it is about these little people that God has given them the kingdom? His own magnificent creation? Then love like Jesus loved and love on the children through this ministry.
Kids won’t ask for your credentials, they won’t review your resume. All they need is for you to care, to share a bit of your time and the faith that has changed your life. For the sake of the future of the church, that is not too much to ask.
If you volunteer, you won’t be thrown to the wolves. You can simply assist with a craft on up to teaching a whole lesson. But no job is too small. Anything you do for the smallest of these you do for God. In Matthew 18:5 Jesus said, “And whoever welcomes in my name one such child as this, welcomes me.” You will make an impact in the kingdom. And one day, one of these great warriors for Christ will look back and count you among others in their “Spiritual Hall of Fame”.
I use to think I knew about God until I had children. Now I can empathize with God. What I have learned about the nature of God through these kids I do not have enough paper to record. So I invite you to partake. Give and receive. And here’s the big secret (don’t tell anyone): its fun! Yes, honestly. Doing the work of God can provide some of the biggest laughs you’ve ever had.
So take up the challenge. Don’t say I can’t . Say “Yes Lord! Pick me!” The mission field is waiting and the kids want you.
Love, Your Kids' Sunday School Teacher
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
NOW, I've got something to write about...
There I was quietly eating my late mid-morning snack when I happened upon this editorial in our local paper. It nearly made me spill my coffee and we all know what a grievous crime that is.
Here is the original article in its entirety (thankfully, a small piece)
My more appropriate response is this:
Here is the original article in its entirety (thankfully, a small piece)
Of Births and ButterfliesMy first response was "What kind of crack induced, lunk headed editorial is this?!?"I read that Japan's population, about 125 million, may be falling, ahead of previous projections that the decline would start in 2007. The estimate of the average number of children a Japanese woman has in her lifetime has slipped to a record low of 1.29. The high cost of education, among other things, is cited.
Unless Third World immigrants' fertility stays surprisingly high, similar declines will probably appear in other developed countries: In general, the fertility rate of people who move to developed nations from the Third World gradually falls toward the native's rate.
While this will affect pension and medical costs, and pose other challenges, world-population stabilization and even decline would generally be very good indeed. The earth cannot forever take the ravages of consumerism and a surging population; how many of us can move to Mars to free up space on this old orb?
Heavily armed Mexican park rangers are trying to keep ruthless loggers from destroying the winter nesting grounds of millions of beautiful monarch butterflies that migrate from Canada. There are few such forests that do not face destruction because of insatiable demands for more and more building materials and other commodities, as both our numbers and our individual demands for natural and manmade stuff swell.
The news from Japan holds out some hope that there might be a future for the monarch butterfly.
-Robert Whitcomb, Vice President and Editorial Pages Editor
The Sunday Providence Journal
December 18, 2005
My more appropriate response is this:
Dear Editor,
I am writing in response to Robert Whitcomb’s editorial in this Sunday’s Providence Journal. I had to read the article twice to make sure he was serious and not being tongue in cheek.
I am quite honestly shocked by some of Mr. Whitcomb’s statements. He states, “The earth cannot forever take the ravages of consumerism and a surging population;” Consumerism and its subsequent damage to the earth is a function of behavior and not quantity. Blaming the “ravages of consumerism” on overpopulation is like saying the problem of bad Rhode Island drivers would be alleviated if there were less of them. So which Rhode Islander would Mr. Whitcomb vote off the “island”? We are bad drivers because we are lazy and inconsiderate of others, not because there are too many of us. If the issue were amount of people, our small state would not be so notorious for its poor drivers.
I would also add that regardless of your belief system, one must question who will destroy whom first. After the tsunami of last Christmas, the hurricanes of this year, and other natural disasters, I tend to believe that the earth can fend for herself if provoked.
Mr. Whitcomb mentions “Heavily armed Mexican park rangers are trying to keep ruthless loggers from destroying the winter nesting grounds of millions of beautiful monarch butterflies that migrate from Canada.” Are there ruthless loggers because there are too many people on the planet or because their parents did not teach them to behave? Are they destroying the butterfly habitat because there are too many people on the earth or because they haven’t been educated on the environmental impact of their behavior? Again, the issue here is behavior and not one of quantity of people.
I might also point out the second, third, fourth (and I could go on) children of their families who have created new building materials, found ways to more efficiently use materials that we have, and have found new and ingenious uses for naturally occurring, renewable resources. Not to be sophomoric, but what has the butterfly done? The children born today are more likely to find a way to protect that butterfly habitat that the butterfly will be able to resolve our pollution issues.
However, it is Mr. Whitcomb’s last sentence that truly held me aghast. He states, “The news from Japan holds out some hope that there might be a future for the monarch butterfly.” Are the Japanese to look at their forthcoming social and economic difficulties and say “Well, suffer we must but at least we can be a role model for the Mexicans so the butterflies will have their winter home” I agree that the monarch butterflies are beautiful, majestic and deserve to be preserved, but at the cost of the economic and social well being of nations?
Children used to be evidence of one’s wealth. There was a time when we did not count ourselves blessed because we had a large house and X-Box 360, but because our holiday table overflowed with our children and their children. Children were valued in Japan to the point that there were holidays created to honor them. Even today, they are brought to the temples during their childhood so their parents can thank the gods for them. They are the parents’ source of comfort and security in the final stages of their lives and now Mr. Whitcomb says that the lack of children in Japan provides hope? Is he serious?
Sincerely,
Dawn G. Kerr
Monday, December 19, 2005
Oh my goodness
Y'all have really flattered me with your warm and encouraging responses to my blog. I am humbled. As a matter of fact, downright speechless (it is possible, sometimes). For those of you who responded "you're scaring me", well, the fun is just beginning. However, now I'm intimidated and befuddled. How does one be witty on demand? I don't make up these amusing events in my life, they just happen and right now, I'm getting no material (maybe I should wake the kids up from that four hour nap). I also don't know how to write: to just muse on some subjects, to inform/educate/to rant? Do I write to acquaintances? or to the larger public? Do I keep in mind that Mom is reading this and might blush or do I go for it (no chanting "go for it!")?
So I leave you with some ramdom thoughts until I get the hang of this blog thing.
1. Any husband who brings home a slice of chocolate mousse cake for his pregnant wife deserves to be sainted (warning-get use to me gushing about the hubby because, yes, he is that good)
2. Those kiosks in the middle of the aisle in a deparment store that are jammed with "gifts for under $10" should be outlawed. They make the aisle smaller, no one really needs that stuff and it all goes on sale for $3.00 the day after Christmas anyway.
3. There's a lot of "remember the reason for the season" stuff going on out there. Yes, we know Jesus is the reason and our salvation is a wonderful gift, but let's take that down to a practical level. Because I know God through Jesus
Ok, enough preaching for now. If you want to actually read more, send for the book, only $19.95 on Amazon!
So I leave you with some ramdom thoughts until I get the hang of this blog thing.
1. Any husband who brings home a slice of chocolate mousse cake for his pregnant wife deserves to be sainted (warning-get use to me gushing about the hubby because, yes, he is that good)
2. Those kiosks in the middle of the aisle in a deparment store that are jammed with "gifts for under $10" should be outlawed. They make the aisle smaller, no one really needs that stuff and it all goes on sale for $3.00 the day after Christmas anyway.
3. There's a lot of "remember the reason for the season" stuff going on out there. Yes, we know Jesus is the reason and our salvation is a wonderful gift, but let's take that down to a practical level. Because I know God through Jesus
- Nothing is random and inconsequential any more (i.e. why the heck do they behave like that?!?)
- There will always be someone who is patient and loves my kids/spouse on days that I can't/won't.
- I'm not soley responsible for someone's happiness
- I'm now friends with the creator of the universe!
- When I've completely blown it with everyone on a given day, God still likes me
- When things are going to hell in a hand basket (and are taking the appliances with them) I know someone bigger that me is in charge (and I don't mean girth)
- Coincidence makes sense
Ok, enough preaching for now. If you want to actually read more, send for the book, only $19.95 on Amazon!
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